Government Jobs

Some folks, particularly in this economy, tend to look more for government positions because of the perceived job security. The problem is you have to contend with stuff like this, sent to me by a friend. She told me it took them six months to hear back from them, and she had forgotten she had applied to the job at all. Everything is stripped of personal/identifiable information to protect the stupid or annoyed. Red highlighting is mine.

*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----* Replies to this email will be sent to Joe Sixpack *----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----* December 15, 2008 Jane Doe 1243 Fake Street Springfield, IL 78841 Dear Candidate: Thank you for applying for the position of Systems Analyst with the Government Department. As part of the evaluation process, you are being invited to participate in a performance examination. The exam will be conducted using computer based testing programs. The exam may consist of data entry, clerical proofreading, basic office skills, and customer service representative skills. EXAM CHECK-IN Check-in will begin ten minutes prior to your scheduled exam time. Do not arrive any earlier, as there is no waiting area outside of the testing room. Your exam is scheduled for the following time and location: Date: 12/23/2008 Time: 01:30 PM Duration: 1 hour, 45 minutes Location: County Building, Room 120 123 10th Ave Makin, GA 62479 You must bring official picture identification, such as a driver’s license, to be admitted to the test (no exceptions). Instructions for Test Confirmation To confirm your appointment, please e-mail test@county.gov. no later than 4:30PM, DATE, 2008. In the subject line, write: Systems Analyst, Yes I will attend testing session *OR* Systems Analyst, No I will not attend testing session. Include your first and last name in the body of the e-mail. Due to the volume of responses, we are unable to reply to email confirmations. If you are unable to attend your scheduled appointment time and need an alternate test time, please leave a message at 555-1234. We will try and accommodate your request. However, due to limited testing facilities and time constraints we cannot guarantee an alternate time. Parking There is limited on-street parking (applicable fees charged) off 10th Ave between Parkplace and Broadway. There are several parking lots and garages nearby that provide parking for a fee. We look forward to seeing you. Directions to this location are provided at http://www.someurl.gov Sincerely, Joe Sixpack Human Resources Division PLEASE DISREGARD THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE: If you applied online, please verify you have received this message by visiting: https://www.wtf.com *----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*----*

Lets list the hilarious parts, in order:

The exam will be conducted using computer based testing programs

Whoa, tests on computers now! Fancy. I bet it uses the same fantastic generic form program this letter was (still)born from.

The exam may consist of data entry, clerical proofreading, basic office skills, and customer service representative skills.

Great, a basic office skills and data entry test. Not at all a waste of time for a Systems Analyst.

Do not arrive any earlier, as there is no waiting area outside of the testing room

"People arriving early will be forced to run on a treadmill until the time has elapsed." I don't get it. Do people cheat through walls now? Has the office banned chairs because of the tightening economy?

12/23/2008

I assume the six month wait was so they could have the test on the second to worst day of the year.

no later than 4:30PM, DATE, 2008

"I am too lazy and/or incompetent to actually fill in all the fields in this form letter."

PLEASE DISREGARD THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE

On second thought maybe this isn't sheer stupidity - perhaps it is the test itself! Anyone stupid enough to click on a link in an email from a vaguely trusted source (that even goes to the trouble of telling you not to click it) would be a useless Systems Administrator. Actually anyone given a computer that does this is a network outage waiting to happen. The people qualified for the job, assuming they didn't get one already (my friend did) should answer it like this: "Subject: Systems Analyst, No I will not attend testing session. Is this a joke? Is a form letter really that hard to fill out? Why do I want to work with such an HR department? You wait six months to assign me to a test for which anyone applying for this position will be embarrassingly overqualified for the day before Christmas Eve. If this isn't a joke, get bent."